And Be One Traveler

Grief

2006-01-08T22:55:00.000-05:00

So its been a hard week. A hard couple of weeks actually. Just before Christmas my grandfather fell sick, he got better, then got worse, then died. It was not something I wanted to deal with. My pain coupled with the pain on those I care about was a little much. My grandparents were married for 56 years. I hope I can find that kind of love someday. There was a lot of tension because my aunt has some unresolved issues with my father, well more like jealousy issues. So she only worsened a tense situation by attempting to play tug of war with my grandma's affections.

On top of losing my grandfather, I had to miss the first week of classes in order to attend his funeral. It feels overwhelming, to start classes behind everyone else. I've done my best to catch up but nothing can replace attending lecture. I'm not even sure where I am. I guess I'll find out when I attend class.

On top of it all, his funeral was the day before my birthday. I felt guilty that we had a celabratory lunch. It always seem wrong that the world keeps moving when it has been so drastically altered.

I wrote a poem, in an attempt to deal with my grief, it sucks but oh well.

Starlit Road

The road I tread
I tread alone
Behind is the world I’ve known
Family and love
And friends I leave
Back I cannot turn
Even ‘twere my desire

The road ahead is bathed in shadow
Though behind is sun lit
Til when my path the sky does kiss
Does the stars brighted glow
A door do form
Where I must go

My walk is long
Perhaps tis short
My walk unwinds my mortal coil
Behind I leave tears and toil
And also love and memories and smiles

The door of stars
My dreams do hold
And though I walk alone
I know I will find
Those who’ve gone before

And when I reach the resting place
Where my path touches the stars
Know I’ll find a peaceful grove
And wait to welcome you
From the road dark
But watched by stars.

Down with scUM!!!!!

2005-11-20T22:25:00.000-05:00

Yes, we beat Michigan. We handed their asses to them. We dominated them. YAY. And I was there in the horrible state of Michigan, in the whore of a city Ann Arbor. It was a great game and it made the season that much better. I can't wait til the Bowl Game. It should be great.

Here are some pics from my mountain climbing trip.

My Friend Sarah and Me

Sarah Climbing

Me Climbing

Yay for Mountains!!!

2005-10-31T14:44:00.000-05:00

So I had a truely awesome weekend. I went on a climbing trip with the Outdoor Adventure Center and it was amazing. We went to the New River Gorge in West Virginia and it was gorgeous. I took so many awesome pictures.

Anyway, climbing in a gym could never compare to climbing outside. Climbing outside was just indescribaly great. So though the weather was bitter cold. I still had a blast. Our trip leaders were so nice and one was kinda cute. I learned so much about climbing.

The place we camped at was private property. A friend of one of our group leaders let us stay on his land. He had two adorable dogs, though one wasn't very friendly. He also had four horses that were beautiful. I fed them apples. It was awesome. The only bad part was the cold, it got into the bones, but it was well worth suffering.

I'm so ready to face the week.

Never Again

2005-10-17T22:12:00.000-05:00

I will never again say that school is going fine... or okay... or peachy... or another positive adjective. It seems like the second I do... my school life starts sucking. Like for example last week when I averaged four hours of sleep a night. Oh Joy.

I've scheduled for next quarter. It isn't looking to wonderful. Oh well.

We beat Michigan State. At least I have that to be happy about.

And Here We Are

2005-10-09T20:08:00.000-05:00

I'm continuing on my way through college. Not quite joyfully but close enough. Things are going okay, I haven't been ridiculously swamped or overwhelmed at any point this quarter. So here's hoping that doesn't happen. Which is an unrealistic goal... most likely I'll be ready to cry in a corner within the week. College just does that.

My boys lost to Penn State which was pretty shitty. So much for the NC or the Big Ten Championship for that matter. Dammit. On the upside I attended a very fun 70's party this weekend. Crazy hair and blue eyeshadow were my big statement. It was a pretty good time dancing and alcohol and good friends.

Anyway that is my update.

Week One.... Down.... Too Many to Go

2005-09-25T21:57:00.000-05:00

So I survived my first week of classes. Had fun with the sorority on Friday. The Bucks kicked Iowa's ass on Saturday. Got an early visit from Mom and Dad today. Fairly uneventful but mostly enjoyable. I just hope my first full week of classes goes well. It should.

I don't have much to comment on. But here is my attempt at getting back in the swing of posting.

La de dah

2005-09-21T16:17:00.000-05:00

So I haven't actually posted since like June but my summer was a little too uneventful for me actually write something. I'm back at school officially in the dorms and have made it through my first day of classes. It was rough, I'm out of practice.

The thing that strikes me most is how easy it is to recognize freshmen. It makes me wonder if I was that obvious last year. I hope not.

In general life is going well. I like my dorm and my roommate. My RA is very nice. My sorority is awesome. So I guess I can't complain.

Asshole Teammate..

2005-06-07T21:05:00.000-05:00

The member of my team who I've consistently said sucks at life... well here is what he thinks of me.

Has little respect for me as an individual. Despite my efforts to include myself in the project I was met at every turn with the scorn and disrespect of my teammates, but never to my face. On ONE DAY I had three of my suitemates come to me to tell me that they had overheard my team talking trash about me at various places on campus. I frankly expected a little bit more professionalism as this level of duplicity is childish and disrespectful. If you had a problem with me, you should have said something earlier or told me what it was that I could change. There's really nothing I can do about my ADHD, I told you guys at the very first meeting that I have a terrible attention span issue, and holding that against me and using me as a scapegoat was hurtful. I only wanted to help the group, but was never given an opportunity to. Sorry for letting you all down, but you let me down too.

I think it is freakin hilarious. The stupid jackass.

Finals Week Sucks

2005-06-06T14:45:00.000-05:00

I hate finals week. There is just so much tension. Plus most of my friends are already out of school and having fun. I just want to be done with this quarter.

However I'm not really looking forward to going home. I've made a lot of friends that I like here and I don't want to leave them behind for the summer. Actually the thought of spending the next few months with Loganites and Loganites only makes me somewhat ill. I'll have to try and visit people or something or just slit my wrists.

I just am no longer the person I once was so going back to Logan feels like regression of some sort. Maybe I being overly analytical. I can be so maudlin at times. Really you would think with being an engineer I'd be more logical and rational but sometimes I'm totally a drama queen. It frustrates me when I behave emotionally.

Still I'm concerned about finals, which doesn't explain why I'm writing this and not studying. But I'm also concerned about my homecoming. I hope it goes well but I have a feeling it might be a little rough. I'll just have to get by as best I can.

I might not post over the summer, I probably won't so it will be a long time till my next post. Which would matter if people actually read this crap. Which actually isn't a fate I'd force on anyone.

I lied...

2005-05-30T23:47:00.000-05:00

Since my last post everything has started sucking.... A lot. The robot failed miserably. God damn drive train issues. I ended up screaming at one of my teammates, who was being a jack ass. Here is the end of the conversation.

Me: WELL FUCK YOU!!! (turn and stalks away)
Him: FUCK YOU, TOO!

Beautiful isn't it.

My sister decides to make up shit about my drinking habits and now my mom thinks I'm an alcoholic. Though I think I convinced her I've only drank a couple times, which is mostly true. The final report for this project has sucked the last 5 hours of my life away.

I just can't wait until this quarter is over. Summer seems so near... Yet so very far.

Good News

2005-05-24T23:13:00.000-05:00

Amazingly enough when I worked on robot today, my team made progress, lots of it.... AND we experienced no set backs. I was thrilled beyond belief.

Thursday after the competition I'm going to a wine party. YAY for drinking.

Well I should do statics homework now.

2005-05-22T22:22:00.000-05:00

Ok I got bored and took some online quizzes here are the results.... or at least the ones I mostly agreed with...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your SAT Score of 1390 Means:

You Scored Higher Than Howard Stern

You Scored Higher Than George W. Bush

You Scored Higher Than Al Gore

You Scored Higher Than David Duchovny

You Scored Lower Than Natalie Portman

You Scored Lower Than Bill Gates

Your IQ is most likely in the 130-140 range

Equivalent ACT score: 31

Schools that Fit Your SAT Score:

Brown University

Northwestern University

Carnegie Mellon University

Cornell University

Reed College

What Does Your SAT Score Mean?

Your Political Profile

Overall: 35% Conservative, 65% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

You are 67% Capricorn

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

Okay.... I'm a big dork... I don't care...

I hate titles....

2005-05-21T11:55:00.000-05:00

So yeah life has been progressing as it often does. I'm pretty worn out by robot, we had more than our share of setbacks this week.

But on the plus side it is the weekend and the weather looks gorgeous. So I'm thinking I might spend some hours in the sunshine.... And I might go see the new Star Wars.

Yes I'm a nerd.

Life...

2005-05-16T20:28:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted anything for a while. I've been pretty busy. Robot has been hectic and then I have my other classes on top of that. It can be kinda frustrating sometimes.

I still mostly like my robot group, there is one annoyance but I'll deal with it. The other two guys are great to work with and really dependable so its nice. Still it feels like there is so much to get done, and a little more than a week to do it in. It is crazy stuff.

I had my sorority's formal this weekend, it wasn't too bad. I enjoyed myself, danced a lot, kinda ignored my date. I wish I had gone to Prom drunk, alcohol definitely improves events like these.

I had a Statics Midterm today, don't know how well I did... I'm kinda sick so I didn't focus as much as I could have. Oh well.

That is about it. I'll try to post again soon.

Robot

2005-04-24T18:07:00.000-05:00

My robot, the one that I am building for a grade in my engineering class, is really sucking right now. It really sucks a lot. The primary component is really duct tape. The motor is mounted with duct tape. The wheel is connected to the motor axle with duct tape. The wiring is held to the chassis with.... duct tape.

Everything was going relatively good and then.... BAM.... A minor setback.... And we are rigging the damn thing up with duct tape. And the circumstances were really beyond are control. We are going to have to completely revamp our design or something because right now we suck a lot.

One of the members of our group continues to be worthless. He really is just holding us back and I don't trust him to write our names on the damn paper. I wish we could trade our teammates in for a replacement or better yet more money in our budget.... Or a penny... Or anything other than having him in our group.

Seriously at this point I can either cry or laugh my ass off. I'm laughing my ass off. Its the easier of the two situations. Though if something like this happens again I very well may start crying. Except I won't because that doesn't help the situation... At all.

So right now everything sucks. I have a math midterm this week and I've really been sucking at math. So right now I just want to give up. But instead I'll just keep laughing at myself and hope it all goes away.

Now I have to go strangle my errant teammate because he sucks at life and is in the process of screwing up another assignment.

And the beat goes on....

2005-04-14T23:14:00.000-05:00

So I've been chugging along doing pretty well. So of my friends haven't been doing so well... Damn boy troubles. Of course when they ask for advice, I can get give much cause I suck at the whole relationship thing, but I do listen well. Still I've been doing good.

I've been socializing more which is good. Went out two nights in a row, not in a drinking way but in a hanging out sort of way. Saw Sahara tonight which was okay, Matthew McCoughnhey was looking pretty fine, but I guess big name actors always do.

Robot Project is trucking along full speed ahead, despite a small injury today, but don't despair, no long term damage was done.

Let's see, I don't think I really have anything else to report.

Cheers, all!

Forgone Conclusions

2005-04-11T21:31:00.000-05:00

So I'm working away on my robot project. I have definitely decided that I like two out of three of my teammates so it isn't that bad. I'm enjoying the challenge so far but I'm concerned about the effort that is rapidly approaching as the quarter marches on.

As far as summer employment goes, I have nothing. The EPA rejected me, I rejected Cedar Point, and the ranch job wanted me to buy a lot of expensive supplies. So I get to go home this weekend and pick up applications for jobs around my hometown.

Well that's about it. I hope all is well.

Back..... Again

2005-03-31T21:10:00.000-05:00

So another quarter has dawned. All is well so far. However I have a sinking feeling that this is the calm before the storm. The calm before a storm that can kick my ass. In other words I anticipate this quarter getting a little rough.

This quarter is the Robot Design project. Which means I and three individuals have nine weeks to build a robot that can traverse a pre-determined course and complete certain objectives. My team seems pretty competent. Two of the guys seem a little nice and one of the guys seemed a little off. But I think we should be able to accomplish this task.

I had an interview with the Logan branch of the EPA this morning at 8 am. So I got to spend some time in the car. Still the interview went pretty well. It pays 8.75 an hour so here's hoping.
The weather has been wonderful though. I'm happy about that.

So I anticipating the worst, enjoying the calm, and just plodding along.

Insomnia

2005-03-15T02:20:00.000-05:00

Insomnia, an inability to sleep; chronic sleeplessness. I don't think I really suffer from insomnia. I just get insomniac-like tendencies when I get stressed out. So even though I have to be up in six hours. I can't fall asleep. Which is why I am writing in my blog, even when I have finals to worry about. I hate how easily I succumb to stress. It is really frustrating, which I think just adds to the problem.

So I'm awake, unable to sleep, wishing for the Sandman, etc. I just hate it, my mind won't shut down. Actually it is racing around in overtime. Flitting from one stupid pointless thought to another. I can actually concentrate well enough to study well. So I'm just screwed. It is times like these I wish I had some sleeping pills. Though, if I had them, I probably wouldn't take them, I have a great fear of becoming dependent on any drug.

So I'm writing hoping it will clear my head enough for me to fall asleep. Unlikely, I've had this stress-related insomnia problem for years and I haven't found a cure yet. It leaves a lot of time for contemplation. Like how much time we spend asleep. This is so much more evident when one is in bed desperately hoping for sleep. Time seems to stretch so much more when this is the case.

I had a Math Final today, or actually yesterday. I'm pretty sure I did well. I'm well prepared for my impending Physics Final, yet I'm still worried. It doesn't make sense. I don't know why I become so unnecessarily worried about stupid things.

It is times like these when I could use a couple stiff drinks. But then again I have that fear of substance-dependence, so even if I had alcohol I probably wouldn't consume it. So I'll stay awake a few more hours, hopefully, eventually I be able to fall into slumber. Tomorrow I'll wake feeling unrested and I'll go through the day with no naps hoping to avoid this problem tomorrow night.

I'm going to wrap this up and find a game or something to play. Maybe study for Physics so more. Who knows... Maybe even sleep.

Dreaming

2005-03-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

I had nightmares last night, and of course I can't remember much more than flashes. These nightmares, plural, the recurred throughout the night, were from what I can remember pretty bad. The flashes were horrible enough to set me at unease making it difficult to fall back into a state of slumber. Which is odd, my dreams are rarely cheery, but I can usually shrug them off without much problem. Last night that wasn't the case, I still feel a little uneasy, even now, many hours later.

So I guess this makes me wonder what dreams, and if it applies nightmares, really are. Are they really just random firings of the sub-conscious, if that is the case, how can nightmares be so terrifying. Still I don't believe dreams have any higher meaning, though a friend from high school was quite interested in hearing my dreams and psycho-analyzing them. The results of her analysis were rarely good. What bothers me most about dreams, is that mine usually are not happy, actually they are usually violent.

So why does my sub-conscious, or whatever it is that causes dreams, feel this need to torture me. I would really appreciate a dream about laying on the beach or something nice for once. Seriously it gets old to being chased by an unknown evil in one's dreams. My dreams really make me question my sanity at times. I have to have problems if I never have good dreams right. Or maybe I just don't remember the good ones. Either way I feel like I am being royally screwed by dreamtime.

I guess dreams are one of those remaining mysteries of the universe. I would really like to be able to unravel this particular mystery, though. I just hate the fact I cannot control my dreams. There have been occasions where I have realized while dreaming, that I am dreaming, but this is far worse than just dreaming. It is like being trapped and any sense of control is beyond my reach, I can see things playing out but I cannot change or stop them. It is really stressful.

I don't know, I'm really just rambling but these blogs help me to let of steam even if no one reads them. It makes me feel like I'm telling someone my feelings.

Pondering

2005-02-16T01:22:00.000-05:00

So here is the deal, I'm trying to make plans for the summer. I know I want to work, I feel the need to contribute to cost of my education as best I can. The problem doesn't seem to be getting job offers, I already have two good jobs lined up.

I guess the real difficulty is choosing which job to take. I really have three options.

Option 1:
I've applied for an internship with the EPA. I haven't got it, but it is a possibility that I have to consider. I must decide if I want to wait for it. The job pays well and would look good on a resume. However, it isn't really applicable to want I want to do and I didn't find the job description all that interesting. At least I could stay at home with this job, I'm afraid to take employment that will force me to spend the summer away from home.

Option 2:
I've received a job offer from Cedar Point, the amusement park. I would have to stay at their low-cost housing and pay for my meals. It pays only 6.25 an hour. I would be a ride host at Snake River Falls. I would be away from home, which might be good, but I would be close enough for a visit if I got lonely.

Option 3:
My second job offer is to be a wrangler at a ranch in Colorado. I would have a salary of 450 dollars a month, free room and board, and the possibility of earning tips. I would get to spend my summer in the Rocky Mountains around horses. I would also be incredibly far from home. I also am suspicious of the fact I received the job, I don't have great horsemanship skills and I informed them of this fact. My job duties would including mucking stalls, feeding the horses, leading trail rides, grooming the horses, various chores, and customer contact.

I feel most strongly toward Options 1 and 3 honestly. I don't really think I'll accept the job at Cedar Point, even though it means letting a friend down. I would absolutely love to spend the summer in the Rockies but I'm terrified of leaving home, which sounds odd because I'm a college student, but I might not get to spend a summer at home ever again. I suppose I'm not entirely ready to give up my family. It makes me feel weak, to feel such trepidation at simply growing up.

I guess I need to evaluate my options more fully and come to a decision. I just wish one would be an obviously correct choice. Is it a sign of maturity to realize that the world comes in shades of grays?

Exhilaration

2005-02-07T01:28:00.000-05:00

Wow, I realize my last post was very angsty. I don't even particularly like angst. Next time I won't get on the computer when I've had a bad week.

In a course of recent events, I've decided to start rock climbing. I got belay certified and everything. I plan to regularly scale walls that are forty feet in height. I find it exhilarating.

I wonder what it is about adrenaline that makes people seek it so. I'm not an incredibly adventurous person. But generally I jump at the chance for an adrenaline rush.

I love to do things that challenge me and the hint of danger makes them even more thrilling. Rock climbing, granted, is fairly safe, still I seem to reach a state of mind where I feel like each hold I reach for could be my last. I love this feeling of danger.

It makes me feel alive when my heart pounds in my chest. I love working up a sweat and feeling my muscles work and stretch. It just feels so right.

I wonder why the pursuit of such primitive emotions is what makes me so happy. I guess its instinctual. Maybe we humans aren't as civilized as we would like to think.

Birthday

2005-01-08T19:20:00.000-05:00

As of January 6, at about 11:00 pm, I turned nineteen. I have aged another year. It feels bizarre as it always has. I remember when I was younger that I looked forward to my birthday with great anticipation, I somehow believed that being another year older would make a dramatic difference in my life. Somewhere along the way I figured out the birthdays don't mean a hell of a lot.

One ages slowly, day by day, moment by moment, not in a sudden rush on that special day. Experience comes from walking the path of life and birthdays rarely lead to great enlightenment. Still a small part of me always anticipates my birthday with great joy, hoping that this year will be different. This part of me gets its hopes crushed after year, and yet it still keeps hoping.

Isn't that an aspect of what is good in human nature? The unwavering belief that somehow it will all work out for the best. The need to fight against the most overwhelming odds. The need to stand strong as tragedy hits like a tsunami. The unrelenting perserverence.

Yet there is so much wrong in human nature. Hatred, spite, destruction, savagery. It drives us to war, to destruction. It holds us back from the heights which are nearly within our reach. Is human nature horrendously two-faced monster or perhaps simply a two faced coin spinning in the air always about to land?

Birthdays lead to pondering. I think sometimes thought is best avoided.

Life Goes On

2004-12-30T23:41:00.000-05:00

The New Year is quite literally upon us. It is this time of year when I tend to evaluate my life. I am a sucker for the idea of New Year Resolutions, I suppose. Actually I find this time of the year to be slightly depressing. It could be that the New Year is quite close to my birthday. So not only is the world aging another year, I quite quickly join it.

This is a time when I question what matters. I feel like instead of reading King or Koontz, I should be reading Dante or Thoreau. I feel like instead of listening to the same types of music I should check out Arabic Rap or something. Basically it is a time when I call into question all that I do. I have never felt happy with the way I react towards the world around me, and this time of year I feel it more sharply.

On the upside, every year I try to make small changes in my persona. Some of which have stuck. I have stopped being a door mat towards people I wish for friends. I speak my mind and hold my tongue less, in appropiate situations, of course. I have prioritized the importance of the opinions of those around me. My parents' opinions still are quite high on that list.

The bigger thing that concerns me is simply if any of it matters. If life matters. I doubt I will find the cure for cancer or do anything remotely Earth shattering. So the question is does the life of the simple people matter? I wish I had the answer.

Maybe I'll find it this year.

Christmas

2004-12-13T23:45:00.000-05:00

So it has come once again. Christmas. What a wonderful time of year, this of course is meant both sarcastically and literally. Christmas is one of those holidays that incites mixed feelings. I love Christmas and I hate Christmas.

I hate the commercialism. I hate seeing Christmas decorations up before Thanksgiving. I hate the endless amounts of cookie I eat. I hate the endless cheesy movies on TV. I hate being constantly reminded that Christ is the reason for the season. I'm quite aware of the foundations of this holiday.

I love seeing houses alight against the snow. I love the look of a decorated tree with a smattering of presents beneath it. I love spending time with my family. I love listening to Christmas music. I love finding the truly perfect gift for someone I care about.

I guess Christmas is unique in that it incites the full range of emotions. It makes us grow closer together. It is the human tendency to stick together through rough times. And Christmas is definitely a rough time in a lot of ways.

However at the end of the Christmas meal, when everyone is smiling and helping to clear the table. It all seems to be worth it. The hustle and bustle comes down to a solitary moment. A moment when all seems to be peaceful and for once just right.

So who cares what the reason for the season is? I just care about that moment and cherishing that moment while my family is whole. I know that one day my family will begin to dwindle away. That knowledge makes the little peaceful moments priceless.

So let it snow, let the chestnuts roast, and let the sleigh bells ring. All I care about is that moment, so let it be.

Winter

2004-12-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

Winter has landed. The air is cold and biting and the trees look very much dead. I hate this season or rather this part of the season. I love the winter when it snows. When it doesn't snow, my love definitely wanes. When I walk to class the wind is cold and biting and I feel it in my bones. I hate it.

Snow is beautiful and it makes the world beautiful. At least until the snow plows come and cast dirty snow into piles along the roadside. Snow blankets the world in an false sense of purity. It is ironic that man is the primary means in disrupting it. Actually it seems to be a rather appropriate statement in man's generally involvement with this Earth.

Still my ideal dreams of winter are snow-covered trees and rolling hills of glistening white. I love the feeling of walking in a snow fall. I could watch the tiny flakes for hour on end. For now however I should study for finals.

Star Shine

2004-11-29T12:36:00.000-05:00

Stars are beautiful. The light of the stars has captivated man and woman alike for ages. It is intriguing that bodies that are so far away can draw such attention. Is it the unattainable nature of the stars that makes them seem so wondrous or is it something more? Is it that the starlight we see at night is older than the race of man and therefore somehow more amazing? The answer alludes me. Yet, I know the night sky is captivating. I know its has been cause of poetry, philosophy, and general wonderment. I don't it can ever be said, truthfully, that a star scattered sky is displeasing . The thought that some people live their entire lives without every really seeing the night sky bothers me.

I, myself, always crane my neck to gaze at the subtle dance of starlight. Now that I live in a large city where light pollution drives away their quiet beauty, I feel a loss. I feel that I have lost a part of myself now that I can no longer star gaze on clear night. When I return to my hometown I desperately hope for clear nights so I can revisit these celestial beauties. My passion for the night sky is greater than most, I realize, and despite this passion I have never learned the constellations. I feel constellations, an invention of man, only distract from the night sky's inherent beauty. The night sky should not be looked at in pieces but as a whole.

The night sky is what tempts me to believe in God. Something so beautiful could not be result of a few random chemical reactions. If there is a God, he is like the night sky, distant and unattainable, and this world is like star shine, a result of ancient actions of a presence now beyond any reach. I can see God in the night sky, but when my gaze falls to the world around me I know his presence is gone, if it was ever here.

Maybe that is the secret of the beauty of the stars. They remind us of a God that is long gone and provide stability in unbalanced world. Or maybe it is far simpler the stars are beautiful because they are. They are shining and bright and beyond our reach.

Introductions Are The Easiest Way To Start

2004-11-28T23:09:00.000-05:00

So here I am. Writing my thoughts for the world to see. It isn't my usual style but I'll give it a try. I'm doing this for myself. I like to write things. My mom told me this weekend I was wasting my writing talent since I'm going to be an Engineer. I have no writing talent but a mother's eyes tends to see things differently. Upon this announcement, my sister recommended that I follow her in Live Journal endeavors. Definitely not my style. Then I recalled reading an article about Blogs in a magazine, who knows which one, I read to much to remember. So here I am.

Now that we have established the course of events that led me to this point I suppose I shall write briefly about myself. I'm a college student, a Buckeye to be specific. I'm currently an Engineering Major with no intentions of changing. I'm quiet. I enjoy reading, music, movies, and people. I'm pretty liberal, I may offend some conservatives. It is just the way I think. What can I say? I am myself.

I hope that people will read what I write, I promise I'll get more interesting. If one can consider my take on the world interesting. I'd love to get comments. Even if you think I'm a complete jackass. Hell I'd be happy to get corrections on my grammar, I know my grammar is bad, I've never cared to learn.

So the introduction is over, I guess the real stuff will start now.

Until next time, take care.